Failing But Not Quiting

I won't lie, I haven't been blogging recently because I haven't been doing well. My journey into weight loss has all but ceased. There was so much motivation as the year began that just quickly left me. Shame came over me every time I tried to blog about my failures in my journey, so I just let it get even worse. But that wasn't the point of blogging, the point was to keep myself accountable. So here I am again, being accountable.

Like I have said before, structure and scheduling is what will get me through. So I have further structured my life. It starts with this blog. Every Thursday I will post something new, maybe an update on how I am doing, a discussion on weight loss, or something else. By posting on the same day every week, I should be able to stay on track better than before.

When I started I was focusing mostly on food, and very little on exercise. That just isn't going to cut it in the long run, so I also made a workout schedule. Keep in mind this is just what I plan to do through the month of February, after that I will reevaluate my plan.

Here it is:
Sunday - walk/run or elliptical
Monday - OFF
Tuesday - 30 Day Shred
Wednesday - OFF
Thursday - 30 Day Shred
Friday- walk/run or elliptical
Saturday - 30 Day Shred

Hopefully these changes will help me through because I am not ready to give up yet.

Not Everyday

No one is perfect, and in weight loss this equates to having a bad day every once and awhile. Today was a horrible food day for me. Having family in town today meant an entire day of unhealthy food. On the bright side, I did make a handful of good choices: I ate smaller proportions and I made the choice to drink water at every meal. That might not sound like much, but those two small choices mean I didn't completely lose control.

Despite having a set back, tomorrow is a new day. I will treat it as such. One bad day will not ruin me nor my diet.

Exercise

Exercise has yet to come up on this blog yet. That's really a shame, but there is a reason. Honestly, I hate working out. I would rather do anything else. ANYTHING. Let's face it though, there is no way to a healthier future without a little exercise. Probably in the future I'll need a lot of exercise,but one step at a time.

Yesterday I used the elliptical for 45 minutes. Proud does not even begin to describe how I felt after. But I wouldn't have made it through more than 10 minutes had it not been for Netflix. Oh yeah, and Freaks and Geeks. Being able to watch something made it just a little easier to stick it out. Plus I promised myself that I would only watch Freaks and Geeks if I was on the elliptical. Ending an episode in the middle is like torture, so I stayed all 45 minutes on that elliptical.

So working out is what I'll be doing every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

Eating Out

Today I successfully ate at a restaurant for the first time. Since it was my mom's birthday I couldn't really get out of going to lunch. There was nothing else to do but to make the best of it. For me that just meant having some willpower.

I ate off of the low calorie menu and passed on desert. That's a success in my book.

Weigh In

When I first noticed I had hit rock bottom I weighed myself. That day I weighed 190 lbs. Being only 10 lbs away from being 200 lbs, I freaked out. That's a lot of weight for my 5'2" frame. I made a promise to myself that day that I would never see that number again. Thus far I've kept that promise and I intend to keep it that way.

That was a long way of saying my highest weight was 190 lbs.

Last time I weighed myself (back in October) I weighed 170 lbs.

Today I weighed in at 166 lbs. That's progress!

Cucumber Lemon Water

This is the last of my cucumber lemon water for the day... Honestly, I wasn't a huge fan.

There was just too much cucumber and not enough lemon. Maybe I will have better luck with it tomorrow.

Preparation is Key

I know myself, and I know that if I am tired after a long day of work I don't want to cook. Even more than that, if I wake up late it's much easier to stop to pick up breakfast. Since I drive about 3 hours a day to get to school and work it's become too easy to just stop to pick up food. With school starting back next week this habit has to stop now.

For myself I know that the key is having easy to eat food on hand. That's why I spent the last few days preparing homemade connivence foods. I made frozen whole wheat pancakes, frozen breakfast burritos, and snack packs. If anyone else knows of easy to make grab and go foods I would love to hear about it. So far though I am off to a good start. I have most of my breakfasts and snacks out of the way. Now I will just have to prepare a lunch the night before and I am ready to go.

I am hoping that knowing myself and knowing what I need will make me sucessful.

Last Post for Today

I know I have posted a lot today, but I wanted to get a good foundation going.

Today was overall a good day for working towards my goals.

I ate a banana for breakfast (I woke up late). Then for lunch I had a veggie pizza. Then for dinner I made balsamic chicken, fresh green beans, and mashed potatoes (not many). Then for desert I made a baked apple. Throughout the day I drank water, soy milk, and a coke zero.

Over all I'm satisfied with what I ate. It may not be a perfect meal plan, but it is better than what I was eating before.

As far as being active... I could have been better. I did walk my dog at the park for a while, but then we went into the dog park. At that point I just stood there for the rest of the time. Tomorrow will be better though. That's all I can do at this point.

Before Picture

I know that I look like a wreck, but there is a facial before picture. I took it just now as I am typing this.

I'll try tomorrow to find a full body picture. Like I said though, there aren't a lot of pictures.

Sick and Tired

I have spent too much of my life hating my weight. Over the last 5 years or so I have watched the weight pack on. It's gotten to the point where pictures are hardly taken of me because I can't stand the way I look. This is supposed to be the prime of my life though, I'm about to graduate college. I don't enjoy it like I should though.

That is all going to change this year though. I graduate college in May and I refuse to still be this miserable with my appearance then. Granted, I know that this is going to be a process and I will not be perfect by May (or ever). Any progress made though will be a good thing. Honestly, if I could make any progress towards a healthier life before my graduation I would be thrilled.

Here is my disclaimer... This is not going to be about fad diets or starvation diets or diets at all. No, I am making a lifestyle change. This is about making good eating choices and starting to work out. This is about small steps and healthy weight loss. Most importantly this is about losing weight and keeping it off.